Few things cause more anxiety than feeling like your life’s out of control. We’ve all been there—frustrated, wondering if our countless hours of busywork are actually leading anywhere. The feeling often arises when you realize that there are more things on your to-do list than you could ever accomplish in the time allotted. It gets worse when you recognize that, of the few things you are able to accomplish, none of it makes you feel like you’re living your life’s purpose. This blog is about how to fix that.
My apprenticeship in learning to live on purpose came from having two special mentors. One is Brendon Burchard, founder of High Performance Institute. The other is Angela Duckworth, renown UPenn scholar and CEO of Character Lab. They’ve never met, but I’m constantly struck by their similarity. One’s a highly successful entrepreneur who’s created a lab dedicated to understanding human excellence. The...
“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string. Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within…”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love my job. I can’t put into words how blessed I feel to have it. This particular work as a mental performance consultant to athletes in Flagstaff, Arizona, is my greatest gift. I am privileged to hear the stories of gorgeous young souls every day. I’m honored by the permission to explore their perspectives, and humbled by their willingness to hear mine. I’m granted more connection everyday in my office than any person could hope for. I love my job.
Once and awhile I’m asked, “how should I begin a career in sport psychology?” In some ways I’m probably the worst person to ask because my path to my current career was an unorthodox one. I did not...
I want to tell you a story about life through basketball. I know two young men, Conner and Kevin. Both play basketball for the same college team. Conner is a freshman and Kevin is a senior. Conner is recovering from knee surgery. Kevin is healthy and training. The season is about to begin, and last weekend both attended a scrimmage against a rival school. Kevin and Conner’s team lost the scrimmage, but the effort was a good one, and both athletes came to talk with me the week following.
“Conner!” I said, as he walked in my room, “you were the MVP!” Humble, Conner looked down, but he couldn’t restrain the wide grin that broke across his face. My comment referred to the fact that I’d watched Conner, still unable to play because of his knee surgery, cheer and encourage his teammates for the whole game that Saturday. On his feet the entire time, Conner’s efforts had resounded with whole-heartedness. He’d...
“The demon you can swallow gives you its power. The greater life’s pain the greater life’s reply.”
Conviction has always come upon me by surprise, calling me to face her with sharp insistence. There’s something urgently real about her; she stings with the edge of fleeting time. “Be you now,” she demands. There’s a fierceness to her tone, and a tremor. This is not play, practice, or make believe, but real life. This is a sudden inner battle of dire import. You must win.
Have you felt the call of conviction? Light as a feather in the small of your back, “as urgent as a knife?” My first memory of conviction was while trail running last autumn. I’d recently adopted the habit of always seeking the fastest line on every trail, especially if it’s technical. I trail run competitively, and this habit teaches me to see lines quickly, and also helps me become more agile at...
“How well have you prepared to be free?” ~ Michael Gervais
Most of us, regardless of our craft, have experienced the feeling of effortless excellence. I’m sure that many of you can remember moments when you’re challenged but you know you can meet the challenge before you. Known as moments in “flow state,” these experiences are infrequent for most, and elusive. Often our best performances arise from them. These moments tattoo our memories with such fulfillment that we continue to work day after day with the hopes of encountering another one.
My primary role as a mental performance consultant is to help athletes attain such optimal performance states consistently. The information and exercises below are designed to begin this process. The content to follow is framed in sporting terminology, but you will quickly see that it is applicable to any field. We will begin by exploring “who” you want to be, and also who you...
Consistently high performance doesn’t happen by chance. It starts with having clarity about who you are, what you want, and how you’re going to get it. This kind of clarity allows high performers to be intentional. They stay focused on what truly counts. Moment-by-moment, they direct their minds to the things that truly deserve their attention.
Being intentional about where you focus your attention is a key element of mindfulness. Mindfulness is fundamentally about using attention effectively. Attention is like a spotlight, and where you shine it is the single best predictor of what you’ll experience. By practicing mindfulness, we get better at focusing our attention and releasing distractions. Yet to understand how to apply mindfulness in your life—and to appreciate why it is so intricately tied to clarity—you must understand the concept of an anchor.
You can be mindful of...
Are activity trackers – whether worn on the wrist or accessed as an app in a smartphone – really all we need to get motivated and stay that way? Science supports a finding that sock drawers full of discarded and abandoned trackers hint at: for most people who start tracking, the app alone does not promote long-term motivation and sustainable behavior change.
While trackers are an exciting, they aren’t magic. Just like any new approach or tool to becoming more active (remember NordicTrack?), wearables and activity trackers are simply new ways to encourage movement. Once the novelty wears off and life gets busier, the potency of wearables to motivate can decrease.
But there’s good news: Whether you’re just embarking on including exercise in your life, or you’ve had failure after failure, a few simple, science-backed principles provide a solid foundation for a lifetime of success—and your app can help.
“Perfect is the enemy of Good” ~Voltaire
I remember the first time I led the launch of a major website back in the 1990s. Launching this site was a vast job and I really wanted everything to be PERFECT. We spent months planning, designing for every contingency while checking and double checking every piece of content. While the website was quite stunning when it finally launched….it actually didn’t much matter. We were latecomers to the marketplace and were never able to catch up and make our mark. What I learned from that experience is that sometimes good enough is, well, good enough. While striving for excellence can often be appropriate and fruitful, striving for perfection has some very real pitfalls including reduced productivity, fear of failure, and reduced creativity.
Perfectionism can slow you down
Perfectionists often try to avoid mistakes, which can lead to risk aversion. Being risk averse can certainly cause...
“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.”
~ John C. Maxwell
When Fall rolls around, much like New Year, I find myself doing a mini “reboot” of sorts. For me, as kids head back to school and all the tomfoolery of summer fades away, I want to hone my habits and get back on track where I may have begun to wander.
When you look at the statistics on New Year’s resolutions, they clearly are not as effective as we'd like. Only about 8% of those who make New Year’s resolutions keep them. So if they don’t work in January, they aren't going to work in September. Given that, let’s look at some useful “best practices” that can help us to follow-through and attain what we desire.
When I think of follow-through, I ultimately bump into my own relationship with my willpower. But there is more to it than simply deciding something and then trying to brute force our way through...
In only a few hours I have to head to the hospital to have surgery. Don’t worry; it is a minor procedure hardly worth mentioning. I mention it only because I am mildly nervous about it. Despite its routine nature there is much about which to be concerned. There are the practical worries, such as the risks of infection or the certainty of physical discomfort. There are the irrational fears; in my case, this means an almost panic like reaction to needles, IVs, and other pokey medical instruments. Finally, and perhaps most profoundly, there is the creeping fear of the unknown. What will the surgery be like? How graceful will I be under pressure? What complications will arise? What will the recovery be like?
I mention my impending procedure—and the fears that surround it—as an entrée to discuss the topic of courage. When most people think of courage their minds jump to limited and (dare I say?) masculine archetypes. The word...
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